10 Ways to Convince Your Parents to Get a Dog | Parody of "I Don't Know My Name" by Grace Vanderwaal
The Name You Give Your Dog Actually Says A Lot About You
Starting off on a strong note here—and a stiff drink. If your pup's name is typically associated with alcohol, then one thing is clear: you're not afraid of enjoying a good glass at the end of a long work day (heck, we aren't either). You're a social butterfly who loves to host parties (and your pet loves when you do—hello, belly rubs). You're also very funny, enjoy being in the spotlight, and thrive on telling your friends which new bar or restaurant is #worthit, and which, well, isn't. Next time we're looking to stray from our standard cocktail, be prepared—your phone's about to ring (but if you don't answer, we'll see what our sign says).
Somebody call up Disney and get you a job—you're a lover of all things coming out of the most magical place on Earth. If you've named your pet Nala and Simba—names typically associated with cats because, hello, it's theLion King—that tells us you're not afraid of stepping outside the box, and that likely transfers into your music, fashion, and food choices. You enjoy indulging in things that take you back to your childhood (you never got rid of your chokers and scrunchies), and your Instagram is full of #TBT and #FBF posts. If you don't have kids already, you're eager to have a little crew of your own so you can pass on all your favorite relics to them. And when Halloween rolls around, you can bet your bottom dollar you—and your dog—will be sporting costumes from the currently trending (or most classic) Disney film. We wouldn't be surprised to see you as Sadness fromInside Out,or maybe even Mickey Mouse so pup can be Pluto
You're one of the 74 percent that 100 percent believes your dog is more than a pet—she's your pseudo-child. Which means you're really into family and upholding the traditions you grew up with. You're a nurturer at heart and enjoy taking the time to care for people's needs—basically you're the perfect pup parent. She's like a human to you, which is why she gets her own wardrobe and a human name. And no, that's not weird at all, as it turns out 18 of the 20 top dog names are human names. So go on and keep celebrating—her birthday, the day you brought her home—and don't feel guilty about the gifts you get her for all the major holidays. Not that you would, anyway. She's family.
Not only did you deeply mourn the loss of Princess Diana, but you love to keep tabs on everything surrounding Kate Middleton & Co., Queen Elizabeth, and yes, Prince Harry. You may or may not have contemplated making a wee trip to London around the time of, oh, the royal birth—both one and two—but that dang work thing got in the way (it's cool though, you already studied abroad there). If you have kids, you watch to see how Kate will dress up George and Charlotte, then follow suit (and you love this guy). It was the best day when you found out you have something in common with the Queen: Downton Abbey FTW. And last but certainly not least, everyone around you knows you enjoy the finer things in life. If you're hosting a dinner, it's not casual dress. And if you're going to go shopping, it's not for trendy buys from Forever 21—you'll save up the cash to make a quality investment piece that stands the test of time.
Not only do you know the differences between Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, and Kris, but you aren't ashamed to admit you keep up with their whereabouts. They're not the only ones you're in the know about, though—you consider yourself a bit of a pop culture queen (trivia night is yourjam) and feel a thrill whenever you're the first to find out something about your friends. You have to be careful with that, though, as you may have gotten caught up in drama before thanks to an impulsive desire to gossip. You also love staying on top of all the hot TV shows and films, and once you start a show, youalwayswatch until it's off the air. Which explains why your dog may or may not have ended up being named after your favoriteGame of Thronescharacter (hey, their names have increased in pet popularity by 200 percent this year). As for the other pup in your house, well...he was named Hans a while ago. After all, it pulls double duty—Hans SoloandPrince Hans fromFrozen.Win-win.
"Team player" is how we describe you. Solo activities aren't your thing, you're the first to lend a helping hand, and you always give an inspiring pep talk when needed (you give thebestspeeches at weddings). Yeah, you shed a few tears when the Yankees said farewell to their iconic number two jersey, but that shows you invest your whole heart into the things. You rally the troops for fantasy league every season—not your husband—because you love having that personal connection with people week in and week out. On Sundays, everyone is always welcome to come find you in one of two places: at your place with the game on and dogs (not that kind!) on the grill, or at the bar that supports your favorite team. Although, you gotta admit you prefer home—that way you and Champ can play a bit of fetch (yes, you're training him to be the nextAir Bud) at halftime.
Nerd alert, nerd alert...and we mean that in thebestway possible. You love all things technology and aren't afraid to show it (hey, we wouldn't be surprised if your dog can handle a cell, too).MashableandPopular Scienceare your favorite websites, you always have the latest, greatest gadget on hand—sometimes without waiting for the free upgrade—and you can code with the best of 'em (Karlie Kloss = the bomb for helping make that more mainstream for women). For fall, it's common to find you in boyfriend jeans, a plaid shirt, beanie, and cute boots—and your Warby Parker glasses complete the look, especially with that off-the-beaten-path coffee cup in your hand.
The great outdoors is where you like to roam, and there's a reason you adopted (wo)man's best friend—she goes everywhere with you, be it hiking trails, running paths, or to the nearby lake for a good swim. You recognize that you only get one body to live in, and do your best to treat it well with healthy, natural foods and plenty of exercise. To you, there's nothing quite like the smell of fresh, clean air, and you'll do anything you can to protect the environment—that includes eating organic, bringing reusable bags to the store, and buying compostable dog waste bags. It's like you got a breath of fresh air (yeah, we said it) when people finally started getting on the go-green train, too, and right now it looks like it's here to stay—there were 78 percent more nature names for dogs this year than last.
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